Feelings are real. They cannot be denied. To tell someone that he does not or 'should' not 'feel that way,' is like telling him he does not or should not have an arm or a leg. Feelings are not only real, they are incredibly powerful. They can cause behavior, sickness, glandular dysfunction, and interrupt or stimulate bodily functions. Our feelings are very much a part of who we are. How we perceive things affect how we feel and how we feel will affect how we perceive things. This cyclical force will sling us back and forth from one extreme to another and every graduation between -- but can be controlled by one thing:
Our ability to choose how we will . . .
THINK!
YOU CAN BE AS HAPPY, SATISFIED AND CONTENTED AS YOU WISH TO BE . . .
IF YOU TRAIN YOURSELF, YOU CAN MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS!
CHOICE!
The BRICK WALL that will arrest
the THINK/FEEL/THINK cycle.
The PHENOMONEN OF CHOICE is more powerful than your ability to reason or emotionally feel.
COGNITION OF CHOICE:
Recognizing that you have the ability to choose between alternatives. The AWARENESS of Choice.
If this is true, as we believe it is, then you also have the ability to recognize and choose a substantive REALITY!
REALITY
EXPRESSION
(triggered by Body)
BODY (physical actuation)
EMOTION
(feeling)
THINKING
(reason)
CHOICE
(desire direction)
(read from bottom up)
There are at least three basic emotional 'types,' two of which might qualify as an 'affective disorder.'
DAMAGED EMOTIONS
DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS
DYNAMIC, VITAL EMOTIONS
αθω
I. DAMAGED EMOTIONS (Worst possible form)
Often the consequence of non-cognition (lack of awareness) of choice. Inadequate, inaccurate, misinterpreted knowledge and information.
A man's spirit may sustain him in sickness, but if the spirit (emotions in this case) is wounded, who can mend it? (Proverbs 18:14)
Three kinds of damaged emotions:
PSYCHOSIS
NEUROSIS
PERSONALITY DISORDER
PSYCHOSIS: 2+2=5, or 6, or whatever. Little or no recognition of reality. Delusions, hallucinations, assorted expression on non-real thinking.
A common psychosis is Schizophrenia, catatonic type, withdrawn. May deteriorate to vegetative state. Caveat: While we don't want to diagnose someone we have never seen and who lived 2,000 years ago, there is an event in the Scriptures which suggests schizophrenia . . .
There was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity for eighteen years, and was 'bowed together' and could not straighten up. Jesus said to her, "Woman you are released from your infirmity." He laid hands on her and immediately she straightened up." (Luke 13:11-13)
How was this woman healed?
Jesus made her aware of reality. "You are released . . ."
. . . giving her cognition of choice. Still, she did not act on it.
"laid hands on her . . . she straightened up." Jesus literally unbent her and reality became apparent to her.
NOTE: One may be aware of choice and unable to act upon it. Such a person will need professional help -- or a miracle from God.
This is not to suggest that a miracle of healing did not take place here. It most certainly did! This woman had suffered her condition for 18 years. It is beyond absurd to suggest that Jesus came along and announced that she was released, and by grabbing her torso and poppping her up without considerable divine intervention (miracle) taking place.
NEUROSIS: 2+2=4, but is unhappy about it. This person is aware that something is wrong. The psychotic is not. This person knows he should be satisfied with 2+2=4, but for some reason, he is not. Neurosis is generally less severe than psychosis, but like psychosis, it causes a malfunction in the conduct of one's life.
What causes these pathologies? What lies at their root?
ANXIETY or ANGST
. . . the primary characteristic of neurosis; constantly upset, worried, apprehensive, afraid . . .
Often caused by acute trauma (PTSD), but also the consequence of a multitude of trauma events lesser in magnitide, the effects of which build in the mind ultimately producing severe pathologies.
Like psychosis, neurosis is a state of mind, a condition, emotions which are in a state of 'disrepair.'
"I would like to suggest that 95% of our suffering is neurotic. It grows out of a wrong or distorted way of looking at reality; a wrong way of looking at myself and other people; a wrong way of looking at life; a wrong way of looking at the world; a wrong way of looking at God." -- Fr. John Powell
PERSONALITY DISORDER: 2+2=4, determined by totaling:
1/4+1/4+1/4+1/2+1/2+1/4+1/4+1/4+1/4+1/4+1/2+1/4+1/4
=4. Deeply ingrained patterns of life-long maladjusted behavior. Often eccentric in character.
Emotions that have been damaged over the years by a lifetime of stress, abuse, neglect, inadequate love, etc.
Damaged emotions are emotions out of control. The THINK/FEEL/THINK cycle is spinning; cognition of choice is not an option apart from the help of a sensitive, competent therapist, or Jesus Christ himself.
II. DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS
Certain emotions are definitively destructive. We must recognize them as such and conciously program our minds free of them.
How is this done?
Elimination: Telling ourselves (actually speaking audibly to ourselves) that we are feeling a desctructive (false/negative) emotion, and making a conscious, psychological effort not to feel it.
Replacement: . . . and then replacing it with thought that will produce constructive (positive) feelings.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside
the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths
of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff
they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy
shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell
in the house of the Lord for ever.
Psalm 23 (KJV)
Finally, brothers, whatsoever things are (1)true, whatsoever things are (2)honest, whatsoever things are (3)just (fair), whatsoever things are (4)pure, whatsoever things are (5)lovely, whatsoever things are of (6)good report; if there be (7)any virtue, and if there be (8)any praise,think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)
As a man thinks in his own heart, so is he. (Proverbs 23:7)
GUILT: Self condemnation
Carl Jung, the famous psychiatrist, once reflected that we were familiar with the words of Jesus, '. . . whatever you do to the least of these my brethren, you do unto me.' Then Jung asked a very probing question, 'What if you discovered that the least of the brethren of Jesus, the one who needs your love the most, the one you can help the most by loving, the one to whom your love will be the most meaningful -- what if you discovered tha the least of the brethren of Jesus . . . is you?'
"There is, therefore, no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)
IF YOU ARE 'IN CHRIST JESUS,' GOD DOES NOT CONDEMN YOU. SO WHY DO YOU THINK GOD WOULD WANT YOU TO CONDEMN YOURSELF?
And hereby we know that we are of the Truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then we have confidence toward God. (I John 3:19-21)
Hence, if we condemn ourselves with feelings of guilt, our faith toward God, his grace and his mercy, is compromised.
ONE OF THE REASONS SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR FAITH AND LITTLE CONFIDENCE GOWARD GOD, IS BECAUSE THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF THEMSELVES. THEY HABITUALLY CONDEMN THEMELVES.
Never allow your heart to "condemn you." Recognize your guilt feelings for what they are: EVIL, DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS. Remember, "God is greater than our hearts" and Where sin abounds, grace much more abounds."
CAVEAT: These principles address emotions that people engage virtually every day. We do not suggest that REMORSE should be absent for major crimes like murder, rape, assault, extortioon, etc. In such cases feelings of guilt and remorse are necessary for any level of rehabituation within society. People who do not feel guilt or remorse in such crimes are often seen as sociopaths.
"If you like yourself, remember this;
you've got it made because you are going to be with someone you like for 24 hours a day. On the other hand, if you do not like yourself, you are going to be burdened with someone you don't like for 24 hours a day . . . and that's toxic." (Fr. John Powell)
The principle here is that if we are able to relate to God without imposing guilt on ourselves, our confidence in God grows stronger! We do this by recognizing the immense meaning of the Cross, and the immense Sacrifice our God made to resolve our guilt!
FEAR:
For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (I Timothy 1:7)
There is no fear in love, because perfect love casts out fear. (I John 4:18)
Notice the inseparable connection between love and the absence of fear. How can you be afraid of someone who truly loves you?
BITTERNESS, HOSTILITY, RAGE,ANGER
Let all bitterness and wrath (rage) and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. (Ephesians 4:31)
Lest any root of bitterness springing up, trouble you . . . (Hebrews 12:15)
These emotions often lead to cynicism. CYNICISM IS A FORM OF DEATH, POISONED BY BITTERNESS.
LONELINESS, DESPAIR, DEPRESSION
All relate to a sense of emptiness of the satisfying presence of significant others.
Feelings of worthlessness, dejection and worry. Feels that everything he does results in failure. Does not realize that failure is always the path to success. If you want to achieve somehthing really significant, prepare to fail dozens of times.
You don't succeed by making the same mistake over and over again. You need to learn to adapt, to be malleable, to adjust and sharpen your vision.
CAN BE OVERCOME BY INVESTING YOUR LIFE IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE -- INVESTING YOUR LIFE IN OTHERS. THIS IS A PROFOUND INVESTMENT IN WISDOM.
The unreflected life isn't worth living!
To learn wisdom is true self-love. Cherish discernment and make sure of success. (Proverbs 19:2)
III VITAL DYNAMIC EMOTIONS
It is fascinatiing to note that the first three "fruits" of the Spirit are emotions: LOVE, JOY and PEACE.
Good, but painful emotions:
Fear of real danger Grief over the loss of a loved one Anger over injustice and oppression Sorrow, regret over sickness, affliction, setbacks, etc.
Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver, I hae chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. (Isaiah 48:10)
HE TOUCHED ME . . .
When I was converted
When I was hurting
When I needed strength
When I was afraid and needed confidence
And taught me to trust him.
CONCLUSION: Happiness isn't guarnteed by circumstances and possessions. Happiness is gauranteed only by possession of the Truth, by seeing things as they really are. In an active relationship with God, LOVE, JOY AND PEACE are possible in the worst of conditions, and the best of conditions may not produce them.
