"A forgiving heart is a loving heart, and a loving heart is a changed heart."

I don't know about this little white, fluffy cloud of mine . . . well, sometimes not so fluffy! When she isn't, she can provoke the worst in me. I try, I really do try to control it, but sometimes she can be so bad, I just lose it. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Daisy doesn't like it when this happens, and without fail, I come back to her and apologize for being such a lousy human. And you know what . . ?

She forgives me and licks my nose just to show me how much. If you really want to know about forgiveness, you should talk to Daisy. Maybe that's just her way of apologizing, too.

We have heard it so many times, it seems old and uninteresting, "Forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven." This is true if -- and only if -- it is authentic forgiveness.

Forgiving is an act of love; love for the one in need of forgiveness. The reverse is definitely not true. For you and me, between us men and women, forgiving one does not always mean that you love the one forgiven. One can forgive because it is the right thing to do. That is not love. It is "goodness," but it isn't necessarily love. One can forgive and actually feel proud about it. That is not love. That is the worst thing of all. One can forgive and still harbor resentment or anger. That isn't even forgiveness.

Authentic forgiveness springs from the heart of a loving God, loving another in and through the Supreme Forgiver. It says, "I love this person, I am going to forgive him." Such forgiveness comes from a heart that has met and knows God, a heart that has been truly changed by that encounter.

But what of forgiving the forgiver? Meaning, is it possible to truly forgive one's self?

You know that God has forgiven you, at great cost. You have asked for and received forgiveness from someone you have offended. Someone has asked forgiveness of you and you readily gave it, but have you truly forgiven yourself?

The logic goes a little like this: If God who loves you and knows you better than you know yourself has forgiven you, how is it that you cannot forgive yourself?

The connection, or lack of connection, between forgiveness and love, glares at us still.

Still confused? Well, don't worry. Talk to Daisy.